What does validating feelings mean
I hated doing it and became resentful of an adult that needed and craved this adulation and being the center of attention on her bday. I detested having to get her flowers and gifts every valentines to match what other men would do in this made up day. One year she bought tickets to a event with a band she wanted to see, of course this was my b day present, that she reminds of when I don't pull out the stops for her's. It's inequal because Mark discussed with his partner and his partner found offense even after discussion. Surely they could've came to terms with a solution, if it was discussed.
Needless to say I always let her down no matter if I put in great effort or if I minimalized it. I offered her two days a year where I would celebrate her like on Valentine's Day but she just mocked me for the celebration. This year was pretty hard financially, and we didn't really do anything on her birthday or mine. I sit there sometimes just going, "why is this so important to you"? You say she was resentful whatever you did but I'm sure your disdain for celebrating her birthday and Valentine's Day showed clearly. Here's the thing, Mark, when you love somebody you should be able to accept things they love even if you don't buy into it. I guess you showed her that she couldn't "manipulate" you. It is more likely that his desires were dismissed amidst this discussion and the female's needs were projected.
Making a mental note or even a literal note would mean I was important to him.
Not doing so was abuse especially since he had at least two years of him knowing how important it was for me.
This is countering, or dismissing the victim’s feelings, thoughts, and experiences on a regular basis. It may come out as criticism—but criticism of a particular kind. Explicit name-calling can consist in calling the victim of the abuse a “bitch” or other hurtful words. The category of forgetting covers a range of issues ranging from forgetting a promise to forgetting a date or an appointment. Any form of ordering or demanding is a form of verbal abuse. (See my previous post about controlling people.) 14. Denial is abusive when it consists of denying one's bad behavior and failing to realize the consequences of this behavior. I forgot the time of yoga practice this morning and I got there late. I got there 10 minutes late because I wanted to be 20 minutes early.
The abuser may tell the victim on a regular basis that he or she is too sensitive, too childish, has no sense of humor, or tends to make a big deal out of nothing. The abuser may say something very upsetting to the victim of the abuse and, after seeing her reaction add, “It was just a joke! Blocking and diverting is a form of withholding in which the abuser decides which topics are "good" conversation topics. In these forms of abuse the abuser will accuse the victim of things that are outside of his or her control. Judging and criticizing is similar to accusing and blaming but also involves a negative evaluation of the partner. Threatening is a common form of verbal abuse and can be very explicit, such as, “If you don’t start doing what I say, I will leave you.” Or it can be more subtle, such as, “If you don’t follow my advice, others will find out that you are a very unreliable person.” 11. But it can also be more subtle, such as when someone says things that are implicitly hurtful, for instance, “You are such a victim,” or “You think you are so precious, don’t you? Even if the abuser really forgot, it is still abuse, because he ought to have made an effort to remember. An abuser will always try to find a way to justify and rationalize his behavior. Any form of yelling and screaming, particularly out of context. In my head, the time was , but the real schedule said . I didn't mean to get my self out of bed this early to end up not getting practice.
Plus, no matter what the effort an Alzheimer patient will forget a lot.
Some people are also more disorganized then others or have different priorities.
You just kept raining on her parade to prove a point. You disregarded her emotional needs, and she disregarded yours. He might've enacted "valintine's day"-esk behaviors two other days of the year, but you are assuming that he didn't treat her well any other day, and that is abuse.For instance, if a verbal abuser feels unsure and anxious he may simply feel angry—possibly angry that he is feeling unsure and anxious. The ability to feel, like the ability to think, is universal to humanity.